


Hand in Unlovable Hand

by bloodpopsicles



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Dennis gets jealous, M/M, Mac gets a bf, Post Season 11, its kinda sad but ends ok i think, manipulation and unhealthy relationship, pooooooornography at the end, the gang appears for a bit at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodpopsicles/pseuds/bloodpopsicles
Summary: Mac has been acting odd, and Dennis is going to get to the bottom of it. Turns out, Mac has a boyfriend, and Dennis just can't have that. He convinces Mac to invite the guy over for dinner. Expected complications arise.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!
> 
> Title is from "No Children" by the Mountain Goats

Mac kept looking at the door. In the past 15 minutes he had fiddled with his jingling keys, put on his jacket, and slowly migrated to the barstool closest to the entrance. Dennis noticed, because Dennis noticed everything when it came to Mac. They were the only two in the bar--Charlie was down in the basement bashing rats with Frank, and Dee… Dee was somewhere doing something, Dennis really didn’t give a shit where Dee was. He narrowed his eyes as Mac cast another furtive glance toward the door, then to the clock above the bar. 

“Got somewhere to be, guy?” Dennis asked, frowning as he cleaned a dirty glass with a dirtier wet rag. He placed it on the bar a little too hard, and Mac flinched. 

“What? No…” Mac stammered, his eyes going everywhere but Dennis’s face. “Well, yes, but--”

Dennis raised his eyebrows and shot Mac a look.

Mac heaved a sigh. “I just wanted to leave a little early today, hit the town, that’s all.”

“‘Hit the town?’” Dennis repeated, slowly, his tone dripping with disbelief and his jaw going tense. Mac went red as he realized how fake his excuse sounded. 

“Ya know, check out some hotspots,” Mac answered, his voice going higher with every syllable. “Try to score with some, uh--”

“Dudes?”

“Chicks! Babes! Women, with breasts, and vaginas,” Mac hissed, a knee jerk reaction he had been perfecting going on 25 years. His defense could still use some work. 

Dennis attempted to suppress an eyeroll and failed. “Ok dude, ‘women,’ and by the way? Gross.” Dennis sighed. “But if you want, we can skip out early, hop some of the downtown dives. But this time if we take girls home you gotta promise not to knock on my wall in Morse code when I’m balls deep.”

“It sounded like a horror movie in there!” Mac countered, more defensive than concerned. “I wanted to make sure everything was ok!”

Dennis scoffed. “Oh she was screaming… in ecstasy. Screaming my name in worship, Mac, as we transformed pain into pleasure.” Dennis got that faraway look in his eye and his tone went flat before he snapped out of it. “What you don’t know about BDSM could fill a book, dude.”

“Oh my god, I’m leaving,” Mac said shaking his head, pushing away from the bar and heading to the door.

Dennis scrambled to gather his things. “Hey, wait up, asshole!” But when he flung open the front door of Paddy’s the sidewalk was empty, and Mac was gone.

\-----

Dennis wasn't sure what he was feeling, but it sure as fuck wasn't good. Or maybe he used to know what this queasy mixture of anxiety and fear and confusion was churning in his guts, but he left that knowledge behind along with low tolerance and tenuous empathy. But most likely he knew the name of the sensation, it was just buried under something meaner, something that didn't doubt, something he hid behind every day. All too often, for Dennis emotions were like a first language that now felt foreign.

Mac hadn't been the same since boat jail. Distant, quiet--as much as Mac could ever be quiet. He spent more time alone in his room, instead of wasting his evenings on the couch with Dennis ogling oiled-up 80s action stars like usual. It was like even Mac couldn't fully deny what had happened on that cruise, those few hours where he had finally let himself say it. It was like the gang always said--some cocks can't be unsucked.

And so Dennis sat on the couch, drinking and picking at his fingernails until he realized they were bleeding, zoning out to some shitty sitcom. It almost felt like the audience in hysterics was laughing at him. He slammed the mute button, and another bottle. 

Eventually, he heard a key turn in the lock and his stomach turned inside out. When Dee walked through the door Dennis ground his teeth together and rolled his eyes.

“What's up?” Dee asked absentmindedly as she threw her keys in the dish on the table.

“Where have you been all day?” Dennis snapped, on the off chance that she was with Mac.

Dee shrugged. “Me and Artemis got fucked up on poppers and did some shoplifting, I only got caught twice,” she answered, grinning with greed as she emptied her purse of some jewelry, perfume, and a bra.

Dennis was a little impressed, but he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.

Dee finally looked around the room and noticed. “Where's Mac?”

Dennis fumed. “He ‘hit the town’ tonight, fucking asshole… Who the fuck goes out without their best friend?!” He sucked down the beer through clenched teeth. “He hasn't even checked in!”

“Oh fuck don't tell me this is you guys breaking up again,” Dee groaned. “I'm not peeling apples for you, dick.”

“I just…” And it seemed all the anger dissipated for a moment, Dennis deflating with a sigh. “Why would he not tell me?” The fury in his voice had been replaced with something hopeless. With dismay, Dennis heard himself sounding pathetic.

Dee cocked an eyebrow. “It sounds like he did tell you--he's trying to get laid. Duh.”

“Yeah, but,” Dennis shrugged, his eyes going to the floor. He didn't finish his sentence.

“Don't you think years of picking up girls together taught him anything? Maybe he's finally sick of you pulling your weird sexual misconduct shit! And when you do finally find some dumb bitch to fall for it, all Mac ever gets is sloppy seconds.” Dee retorted. “It's fucking gross, Dennis. Mac probably wised up and went solo.”

Dennis shot Dee a look that promised violence. “How dare you criticize the system! The system works, you bitch! I am an amazing wingman, unparalleled in all of Philadelphia! And Mac, well-- Mac--” Dennis was tripping over his words, and the smug satisfied look Dee was giving him made his skin feel too tight. “You know what? Be gone! Be gone from me! Get out of my sight!”

Dee rolled her eyes and flipped him off before retreating to her room and slamming the door. Dennis muttered a stream of curses to himself, trying to quell the storm ravaging his insides. A tiny voice in the back of his head told him she was right. He moved on to whiskey.

\-----

Dennis was somewhere between dozing and passed out from the booze when he realized someone was in the living room with him--either way, he was on the edge of consciousness. 

“Mac, wha…” he slurred, attempting to adjust his eyes to the blue dark. He glanced at the clock: 2:36 AM. 

The dark figure wiggling out of his jacket near the door froze, and sighed. 

“Where you been, man? Y-you didn’t even check in…” Dennis mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

Mac walked over to Dennis, rubbing his sweaty palms on his thighs. After a tenuous silence Dennis heard a low voice in a poorly attempted British accent say, “You’re dreaming, Dennis. This is not Mac, but the voice of God--”

Dennis groaned and kicked in Mac’s general direction, making contact with something. Mac let out a little noise. “Fuck off with the god shit, dude,” Dennis grumbled. “Fuckin… leave your best friend, leave me…” 

Mac stood for a moment with his hands on his hips, looking down on Dennis tangled in an old blanket who was struggling to keep his eyes open. Finally, Mac quietly said “Alright,” and pulled Dennis up by the wrists, slinging him over one shoulder and carrying him to the bedroom. Dennis attempted to protest, but soon surrendered to the warmth of Mac’s muscles moving beneath him. His head lolled lazily into the hollow between Mac’s head and shoulder, and he smiled in the dark. 

When Dennis was safe in bed and away from the bottles littering the couch, Mac stood in the doorway, backlit and black. 

“Hey Mac?” Dennis asked weakly.

“Yeah man?” Mac answered.

“Good night, dude.” 

Mac nodded, and even through his sleep-blinded eyes Dennis could swear he smiled. “Night, Den.”

\-----

“Wait wait wait,” Charlie asked, his eyes narrowed. “And we’re following Mac why?”

Dennis exhaled through his nose loudly and fixed Charlie with his cold eyes. “Because, like I've been telling you for twenty goddamn minutes, something's up. He's going out alone, staying out for all hours of the night, he seems distracted, weirder than usual, and he hasn't laughed at any of my jokes lately--”

Dee scoffed. “Oh so he must be in trouble if he doesn't find your creepy ass funny anymore.”

Dennis turned to Dee, his mouth a hard line. “Dee I will break your kneecaps if you interrupt me again, I swear on my life.”

This time Frank piped up. “I don't give a shit about the gay one, but I'm in. We bashed all the rats yesterday and all my good whores are out with mono. Got nowhere to be.”

The gang groaned, Charlie muttering “unnecessary” and Dennis hissing “gross.”

Dennis pulled out the easel from the back room along with the giant white paper pad and markers. “Ok, so here's the plan…”

\-----

The next day when Mac left the apartment, the rest of the gang piled into Dennis’s Range Rover and followed him at a safe distance. First, Mac went to the gym. For four hours.

“What the shit is he doin’ in there!” Frank said after they had listened to Dennis’s Bryan Adams tape for the 7th time. 

“I don't know, maybe working out, you dumbass?” Dennis answered, lowering his binoculars.

“Isn't this where he met the tr--” Charlie began, before stopping himself. “The young lady of a trans gender? He could be banging in the showers for all we know.”

“Oh we will know,” Dennis answered menacingly. “If I have anything to say about it, we’ll know exactly what and who Mac is doing, regardless of gender.”

Dee shot her brother a look somewhere between concern and suspicious. Dennis didn't notice. Then Dee saw a familiar slicked back hairstyle walking through the parking lot. “Oh shit, there he is! And he's… getting picked up?”

Dee was right-- Mac was climbing into the passenger seat of a black Escalade. 

Dennis set his jaw and shook his head. “Oh, no no no…”

“What?” Dee asked.

“Looks like our boy Mac has fallen into the dark and treacherous world of high end prostitution. The Escalade? Probably his pimp. My bet is Mac is getting spit roasted 5 times a day, one in the mouth one up the butt. Like a suckling pig at a luau.”

Charlie gagged. “Guh-ROSS! Where do you come up with this shit dude!”

Dennis glanced into the backseat as he put the car into drive. “How soon we forget. Frank over here turned me into his whore for a few days back in ‘07. I learned the biz pretty quick. It's called continuity, bitch.” And with that Dennis pealed out of the lot in pursuit.

\-----

When the Escalade pulled into the parking lot of Guiginos, the gang all groaned, curses flying throughout the car. 

“Goddamnit!” Dee screeched. “He knows Guiginos has a lifetime ban on us!”

Sure enough, as they passed the door to the restaurant, they saw signs not dissimilar to wanted posters with crude drawings of each of them. The signs read “UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE ‘THE GANG’ ALLOWED IN GUIGINOS. NOTIFY MANAGEMENT IF YOU SEE THEM.”

Dennis snagged a parking spot just as Mac exited the car, followed by the driver--a tall man dressed in a suit, with dark hair and sunglasses. With dismay, Dennis realized Mac’s pimp was a beefcake. 

Mac paused before they entered the restaurant and patted above his mouth.

“Shit!” Frank shouted. “Son of a bitch stole my fake mustache from the costume box! I was gonna pull a scam with that mustache and I couldn't find it!”

“Wait, since when do we have a costume box?” Dennis asked.

“Dude, we have collected a lot of costumes over the years…” Charlie began. 

\-----

It was dark by the time Mac and this mystery man left Guiginos. “Fucking finally,” Dennis muttered as he threw the car into gear.

“Dude,” Charlie began, his voice heavy with boredom. “Can we just drop this and go home? You and Mac can have a long talk or whatever it is you guys do--”

“No we cannot go home!” Dennis screamed, veins popping in his forehead and his eyes going blank with rage. “I will not sit here and do nothing while Mac is consumed by the underground sex trade! This time next week he could be rotting away in a Bulgarian snuff dungeon, you fools! I will not have Mac’s blood and semen on my hands.”

Dee looked at Dennis with a frown. “Do you even hear yourself? Ya know? When you speak?”

Dennis growled in response, and began following the Escalade much too closely. He was practically tailgating by the time the black vehicle reached their next destination: The Rainbow.

“Jeeeeeesus Christ,” Dennis muttered under his breath. “This is where it goes down. Mac works out all day to get a nice pump for his johns, then the pimp treats him to a fancy dinner, to keep him happy, complacent. And then the real work begins. Where else to pick up clients than the gay club?”

The gang was silent, waiting for someone to say it. This time, the voice of reason was Charlie.

“Dennis, do you think maybe there's a simpler answer to all this?”

“What? Of course not, it's obviously… I mean why else--”

“Dude, I think Mac has a boyfriend.” Charlie placed a hand gingerly on Dennis’s shoulder, but Dennis flinched away.

Dee nodded. “Yeah I mean it could just be… ya know, a date.”

Dennis shook his head adamantly, as if he was trying to dispel their accusations like smoke in the air. “No no no, see that's what this scoundrel wants us to think, it's really a…” Panic was starting to set in. “It has to just be sex, no feelings, cause feelings just make things harder--”

Dee frowned, and patted Dennis’s leg. “We’re gonna catch a cab home. Do what you need to do, ok?”

Dennis gave up a sad little laugh, desperation seeping through his voice. “Yeah, run away like the cowards you are while I single handedly bring down an international prostitution ring! Idiots!”

But they had already closed the car doors before he finished.

Dennis pushed away all the thoughts whizzing through his manic brain like wayward paper airplanes. “Gotta do everything myself,” Dennis mumbled to himself as he exited the car and slammed the door, running his long fingers roughly through his hair. Mac and the man were approaching the entrance to the club. It felt like a flame ignited under Dennis’s stomach, and the heat made him feel sick. 

“Hey asshole!” Dennis said, sweating through his blue button-up. 

When Mac turned around and saw Dennis, his eyes wide, his lips twisted into the shape of “oh fuck.” As Dennis approached he heard Mac apologize to the man, and say “I'll just be a minute.”

“I know what you're up to, you degenerate piece of shit!” Dennis shouted at the man, while Mac positioned himself between them, keeping Dennis a few yards at bay. 

“Dude, please,” Mac pleaded. “You're making a scene.”

“I’m making a scene?! I'm saving you from this pimp who no doubt has been letting strange men rip into your ass on the regular! You should be thanking me!”

“What?” Mac asked, his surprise turning to anger. “I'm not a fucking whore, Dennis!”

“Mac, you don't have to lie to me, he can't hurt you anymore. Blink twice if you're in trouble.”

“I can't not blink, dude!” Mac retorted with exasperation. “I'm not a prostitute, dumbass,” he said, his face turning crimson. “Th-this is my boyfriend, Dave.”

Dave, despite the deeply troubled confusion coloring his face, gave up a little wave to Dennis.

Dennis imagined that this is what it felt like to die by a bullet. His chest hurt, like his heart had been punctured and was flooding his insides. His vision went a little fuzzy as he tried to process the information. For once, his first instinct wasn't to start screaming or slam his fist against the closest face. For once he just nodded, turned around, and drove away into the night.

\-----

This is why Dennis didn't do feelings--because when he did, it was always too much. Better to nip it in the bud, cut it off before it became an issue. And if it couldn't be suppressed, if his brain overpowered his will? Just turn it into anger. Anger is safer, stronger. No one was ever weak when they were raging. At least that's what Dennis told himself. 

But tonight, the immensity was crashing down on him, and even his masterful control couldn't transform it into familiar fury. He sat on the hood of his Range Rover at the docks, alone, smoking cigarette after cigarette. Dennis had quit years ago--he only smoked after sex now, and that was a rarity these days. But tonight he needed something to keep him steady, and nicotine was better than nothing. 

How did normal people do it, he thought. How did they let this sadness in and out, like rain, like breathing, when it was all he could do to keep from choking? How were they ever able to get up in the morning, knowing they would feel it all?

A long time ago Dennis decided it was better to shut out the good along with the bad rather than risk getting hurt. It was times like this that reminded him why. 

He had to go home eventually. Had to face Mac and answer his questions and confront whatever that nameless storm was raging behind his eyes. Had to sort out just what it all meant. But not yet. He still had a few smokes left in the pack.

\-----

Dennis held his breath as he turned the doorknob, and tried to keep his hands from shaking. He took a rattling exhalation and rubbed his sweating palms on his jeans, nodded, and entered the apartment. 

This time Mac was sitting on the couch, waiting. There were a couple empties clinking around his feet, but his eyes were clear. They stared at each other for a moment that seemed outside time, it’s own entity, seconds or minutes or hours. A lifetime. Finally Dennis exhaled the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and sat beside Mac on the couch. Neither of them looked at each other, gazing at the muted action stars with machine guns trapped in the television. 

“Boyfriend, huh?” Dennis said finally, his voice sounding foreign and strained. From the cigarettes, or the screaming. 

“Is it really that hard to believe?” Mac answered. He wasn’t angry. In fact, his voice was so flat for a moment Dennis thought maybe Mac was mocking him. 

Dennis shrugged. “No. I mean… Yes? What do you want me to say dude?” Dennis couldn’t wait for an answer before he blurted out the question that had been torturing him. “Why didn’t you tell me? It’s me, man. We tell each other everything. I tell you everything!” 

“Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't!” Mac let out a chest rattling sigh. “What did you expect? For ten fucking years you assholes have been giving me shit about being into dudes. Then I finally find one, who’s ripped, and into martial arts, and loves Thundergun and Lethal Weapon? And wants me too? I couldn’t risk it.”

“Risk what? Are you ashamed of being gay? You never had to, you don't have to--” Dennis asked, some edge bleeding into his voice. 

“I couldn’t risk you ruining this for me!” Mac answered, finally turning and looking Dennis in the eyes. The air between them went still and cold, and Mac’s eyes widened. “Not just you,” he added quickly, “but everyone. I mean isn't that what we do? None of us have had a relationship in years, at least nothing more than some sad fucked up one night stands! So yeah, I kept Dave a secret, but that didn't seem to work either, so…”

Mac threw his hands up in a little gesture that here meant something akin to “I give up.” 

“You fucking… You think I…” Dennis stopped and started before letting out a sigh to steady himself. “I just want to protect you, dude. This whole thing tonight? I thought you were being taken advantage of! I don't know this guy’s intentions!”

“Is it really so out of the realm of possibility that someone actually like me?” Mac asked with accusation in his voice, and the search for an honest answer in his eyes.

Dennis was always going to say no, he just had to decide which one. The supportive no, the no that meant loyalty and friendship and encouragement? Or the other one, the heavier one, weighed down with the one implication he had been avoiding for so long. That no was dangerous. That no meant admitting. 

“No, of course not, dude!” Dennis said, maybe too aggressive in his casual punctuation. “But I just want to make sure this ‘Dave’ character means well.” Dennis sighed. “And honestly? If we’re being real I'm a little hurt. You really thought I would sabotage this for you? After everything we’ve been through together? We’re brothers, buddy! For life.”

Mac nodded, his eyes to the floor. “Yeah, I mean… I guess.”

Dennis wasn't technically lying. He was hurt, that was for damn sure, but for other reasons too, more complicated reasons he couldn't name yet. He just knew one thing, with every bit of certainty his cold calculating heart could muster--

Dave had to go.

And just like that, Dennis was back in performance mode. The only time he felt really comfortable was when he was pretending, manipulating, persuading. 

“I got an idea, dude, let's have Dave over for dinner, you me and him!” Dennis suggested, imitating spontaneity. “Then I can check him out, see if he's really got the best intentions for you.”

Mac’s eyes widened and he raised a hand. “No, no no no, I don't think that's a good idea--”

“Mac, you know me!” Dennis scoffed.

“Yeah, and that's exactly why I think this could end in violence!”

Dennis felt his words like a blow to the stomach, but he automatically turned that spasm of hurt into anger. It took Dennis a few moments to prevent himself from lashing out, like usual. That would just prove Mac right.

He placed one hand over his heart and the other palm out. “I solemnly swear--”

“Jeeeeesus Christ, dude, just…”

“I solemnly swear, that I, Dennis, will not cause this ‘Dave’ person bodily harm.” Dennis placed his hands at his sides and offered Mac an approximation of earnestness. “Happy?”

Mac wondered for a moment. “You ever think about people who don't resort to violence to solve all their problems?”

“Fuck no, dude,” Dennis chuckled.

“Yeah, me neither,” Mac muttered. “How would you know if he was playing me?” he asked, doubt coloring his words.

“Mac,” Dennis said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder and locking eyes with him. They were so close. “This is me we’re talking about. Who would know better?”

\-----

Like everything else in Dennis’s life, dinner had to be perfect. This dinner in particular, flawless. After all, everything had to go according to plan.

Mac was pacing, manic, running his fingers through his greasy hair every few minutes. 

Dennis glanced at Mac’s frenetic image in the mirror as he worked mousse into his curls. “You're gonna wear out the hardwood if you don't sit down, asshole,” Dennis said.

“And you're sure Dee isn't gonna come home?” Mac asked, his brow knitted together.

Dennis rolled his eyes. “For the fifth fucking time, yes. I gave her a fifty to keep her and Old Black Man busy for the evening. Plus, I changed the locks. No interruptions for the assessment.”

“Can you just go into this with an open mind?” Mac pleaded. “Dave is a really nice guy, I don't think--”

“Mac, what do you do anytime a new person comes into the bar? That stupid fucking ‘ocular patdown’ shit. Just think of this as me giving Dave” (Dennis couldn't say the man’s name without disdain,) “a security check.”

“But I already gave Dave an ocular patdown, right at the beginning!” Mac answered, his voice getting higher and more deranged. “You think I wouldn't have patted him down ocularly? I'm not an idiot, Dennis!”

Dennis groaned and turned to verbally assault Mac one more time when a clear, sharp knock sounded through the apartment.

Dennis thought Mac might swallow his tongue. His eyes went wide as he turned to Dennis, and said quietly “Please, just...” Mac didn't finish, walking towards the door instead. He took a deep breath, and answered the door.

“Hi, hello, welcome!” Mac beamed when he saw Dave, overcompensating. 

Dave smiled, saying “Hey babe,” before leaning forward and pecking Mac on the cheek.

It took every iota of effort for Dennis not to start screaming. Instead, he pasted on his formal smile, the one he used for strangers he wanted to impress, and approached Mac and that man. 

“I'm Dennis, Mac’s roommate, best friend, and… well, I consider him a brother,” Dennis said while offering his hand to Dave, shaking it firmly to disguise the slight rage tremors in his fingers.

Dave was tall, taller than Mac and Dennis. He had lush, dark hair, and a million dollar smile in the middle of a tan, symmetrical face. He was dressed in a casual navy suit with a crisp linen shirt--Armani, Dennis noticed with a dry swallow. Dennis searched for that familiar coldness in his eyes, the one he saw in the mirror, but saw only warmth and genuine interest. Dennis felt his stomach drop. This guy was an angel.

“Nice to meet you, um… Again?” Dave asked, laughing softly to break the tension.

“What?” Dennis asked, narrowing his eyes. Then he recalled that night in the parking lot. “O-oh yeah! I'm so sorry, that was just a big misunderstanding--I thought you were someone else!”

“No worries, man. I just feel sorry for whoever you thought I was!” Dave chuckled and looked at Mac, who laughed a little too loud, betraying his nerves. Dennis chuckled once, cold as ice, before his smile faded into a flat, hard line.

“Let’s, uh, show Dave the kitchen! We cooked up a real good dinner, you'll see…” Mac said while guiding his date through the living room. Dennis noticed Mac resting his hand on the small of Dave’s back. Dennis felt his palms curling into fists.

The small dinner table was covered with only the finest dishes that Dennis had ordered from a French bistro downtown. Dave (if that was his real name) didn't have to know dinner wasn't homemade. 

They all sat and Dennis poured them all glasses from the bottle of merlot. He noticed Mac and Dave gazing at each other, all lovey dovey like fucking twelve year olds. Dennis almost spilled the wine when his wrist spasmed. Thankfully, those queers were too busy eye-fucking to notice. 

“So Dave,” Dennis began, clearing his throat. “What's your story? Mac here has been keeping you to himself!”

Mac laughed with a frantic edge, his eyes darting to Dennis and wide with fear.

Dave smiled, glancing at the other two men. “Well, I'm Vice President of accounting at First Mutual downtown. Mac and I met about, what was it, three weeks ago? At the gym. I saw him dominating that elliptical and just couldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask him for dinner!”

Mac was smiling and blushing, his eyes doing that stupid thing where they get small when he grinned too big. Dennis felt his insides twisting like writing snakes, and nausea hit him like a sucker punch. 

“Cute, cute…” Dennis said, his voice devoid of sincerity, as he stabbed at his salad. 

“I can't believe Mac hasn't told you about me!” Dave said, feigning reproach and lightly punching Mac’s arm. “He told me all about you, and Charlie and Frank and Dee. Mostly you though.”

Dennis furrowed his brow, opening his mouth and closing it a few times while glancing at Mac, who wouldn't return his gaze. “R-really? What’s he told you?”

Dave shrugged. “Oh you know, the usual stuff. How you met in high school, when you decided to buy the bar. Some of the crazy shit it sounds like you guys get up to!”

Dennis didn't know what to say. Even he was starting to like this guy. No, he thought. Who does this guy think he is, rolling in here thinking he knows shit…

“Oh yeah? Did Mac tell you about boat jail? About how he came out at 39 then took it back a few hours later? How he sucked cock on a Christian cruise?”

Mac squeezed his eyes shut and put his face in his hand. Dave shot a look at Mac, then Dennis. 

“No, but we all have things in our past. Coming out is a process, it doesn't matter--”

“What about the time Mac killed our dog and then cooked it into mac and cheese? Or when he faked his death, or when he put a dead dog in a baby casket and fucked up our fake baby funeral? Crazy enough for ya? I mean, I can go on, this kid’s a real piece of work!”

“Shut up Dennis!” Mac shouted, banging his fist on the table. Dennis thought maybe he saw tears in Mac’s eyes. Dennis smiled, that meant it was working. Dave was looking at Mac, his mouth slightly open. It was working.

“Just what the fuck are you trying to do?” Dennis said, slamming the wine glass he was sipping down on the table, spraying red across the white table cloth like blood splatter. “You can't possibly expect me to believe that someone like you would go for someone like Mac. I know grifts, and if this isn't a fucking dangerous liaison I'll be god damned. And what’s in it for you, Mac? You don't need this fucker feeding you lies when he's clearly just using you!”

“I don't have to sit here and take this!” Dave said, throwing his napkin on the table.

“Okay, okay,” Dennis shouted. “Have some wine to go!” He poured the merlot down the length of the table then splashed some on Dave’s perfect, white shirt.

Dave scrambled away from the table. “You're fucking crazy! And if he's telling the truth Mac, I can't…” Dave’s voice faded as his looked toward Mac, who refused to meet his eyes.

Dave sighed. “If he's telling the truth than you fuckers deserve each other.” He stalked toward the door, pausing as he touched the knob. “And for the record Mac,” he added, regret in his voice. “I really liked you.” With that Dave slammed the door behind him.

Dennis’s chest swelled with pride, and he grinned through his malice. Until he remembered that Mac was still in the room. Until he noticed that Mac was standing next to him. Dennis looked up at Mac, and next thing he knew Mac’s hands had him by the shoulders and were pushing. Dennis and his chair toppled backwards--he hit the back of his head on the floor, hard. 

“Get up, you fucking asshole!” Mac shouted as he paced around the room, his fists clenching and unclenching. Dennis couldn't tell if a beating was just a possibility or a promise. 

Dennis scrambled upright, his hands up in front of his chest, palms out in surrender. “Look dude, I d-did you a favor, that guy--” 

"I thought you were being supportive! Protecting me! I can't believe I trusted you, I shoulda known…" Mac shouted. "You promised!"

Dennis muttered a rushed "Well technically I didn't hurt him--"

"Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!" Mac cut him off, advancing with a pointing finger. Dennis flinched. "You can't weasel out of this one, you knew exactly what you were doing, you son of a bitch, I swear..." And Mac kept glancing towards the door. He was always glancing towards the door. "It can never be just for me, can it? You have to worm your way in and fuck everything, ruin everything!" There was that word again, the one that made Dennis’s mouth go dry. Mac's voice was cracking, and it just made him angrier. "You manipulate people until you get what you want, and then you couldn't give a shit when they fall apart!" Desperation seeped into Mac's voice. "Why can't you just let me have this?"

"Because why can't you have me?!" 

Mac looked at his best friend, who was sweating through his pallid skin, his eyes encircled with punched out dark circles. Dennis was breathing heavily, and as soon as the words escaped him his eyes darted around frantic. Regret was starkly painted on his face and for a moment it seemed like he may try to cut and run.

After an excruciating wait, Mac said quietly "Is that what this is about?"

"How could it have ever been about anything else, Mac?" Dennis spat.

"So this whole time, this whole thing, was just jealousy. It wasn't about protecting me, it was about keeping me for yourself?" 

Dennis gave up an angry laugh, so humorless Mac could almost hear the knife sharp edges in his voice. "You're kidding yourself if you think this isn't how it was always gonna be," he retorted. "It's fucking... inevitable. At this point neither of us really have a say."

Mac swallowed hard and looked at the floor. For once, Dennis couldn't read his face.

But now Dennis couldn't stop spilling sentences out into the air. That's what happens when you don't say it for a decade. It all comes at once.

"Maybe I didn't know at the beginning but somewhere along the line there was a turning point, and it was obvious how it was gonna end, so why fight it? But you took forever, you took so goddamn long Mac to ever say it. Of course you did eventually, and I was there waiting, the whole time, decades, until you were ready. Then you just, what, find some stranger? Someone who doesn't even know you? Please. That's insane."

"You're one to talk," Mac said, his voice low. 

Dennis felt like the wind was knocked out of him, and all the words he was about to say evaporated from his lungs. His eyes pricked with moisture, but he blinked them back and clenched his jaw.

He nodded and swallowed hard, his eyes glassy and trained somewhere in the air between them. "Yeah." Dennis confessed quietly, surrendering. "I know who I am Mac. I know I'm a son of a bitch who'd rather shove everything down into the dark than face it, and sometimes I hurt people and sometimes I don't care. And I'm so fucking angry, all the time!" He let out an uneasy little laugh without an ounce of humor. "That I forget how to be anything else! You think I don't know that, you think I don't fucking hate it?" 

Dennis took a step towards Mac, who met his friend's gaze with wide eyes.

"But most of all I know that I'm yours just as much as you're mine, and if you can't see that by now then you're one dumb motherfucker."

Mac's brow was furrowed and he was frowning, the only sound in the room Dennis's exhausted breathing. He felt like he had just run for his life, all adrenaline and blood rushing in his ears.

When Mac spoke, he wasn't angry. His voice was even and steady and low, when he said "What did you call me?"

Dennis blinked, and frowned. "... dumb motherfucker? Is that seriously the only thing you got from that--" 

Mac grabbed Dennis by the collar roughly, and Dennis's eyes went wide, his body tensing. But Mac's eyes, which had not left his, were calm.

"Yeah?" Mac whispered.

Dennis exhaled shakily, acutely aware of the fact that Mac's face was just inches from his own. "Y-yeah..."

And the next thing Dennis knew, Mac was pushing him up against the wall, pressing his lips against Dennis's. It was rough and closed-mouthed, and Dennis opened his eyes wide in surprise. But after that first moment, his tense limbs relaxed and he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Mac's torso pulling him closer, until they were crushed together. Dennis's lips went soft, and Mac took the hint, doing the same. Dennis opened his mouth slow, his breath hitching a little as he traced his tongue over Mac's lower lip. 

It all seemed so delicate, tenuous, like a fraying string that could break at any moment. Dennis wasn't going to be the one to ruin this, like everything else.

Mac tensed as the sensation hit him, and opened his mouth in return, greedy and searching. Dennis caressed Mac's tongue with his own, and soon they were making out like 14 year olds, grabbing at one another like they couldn't get close enough. Their mouths smashed together with an almost violent hunger, all the tension of the years released until they were devouring each other, smiling against each other's lips as they kissed as hard, as fast, as much as possible.

Mac's searching hands roamed down Dennis's front, clumsily unbuttoning as fast as he could. A sharp shiver traveled up and down Dennis's body as he felt Mac touch his bare skin, and he instinctually pressed his crotch into Mac's thigh, which was pushing up between Dennis's legs. Mac let out a little moan against Dennis's mouth, and crushed his own hips up against Dennis.

With massive effort, Dennis pulled away, just enough to be able to raggedly whisper "Take me to bed."

Mac nodded, and pulled Dennis back in, his hand on the back of Dennis's neck. He kissed him, wet and rough and slow, before finally pulling away. "Ok," Mac answered.

They tripped over each other trying to get to Mac's bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. Mac closed and locked the door behind them as Dennis fell onto the bed, kicking off his shoes and fumbling with his belt.

Mac stood over Dennis and tentatively reached down, touching Dennis's hand as he shakily attempted to undress himself. Dennis inhaled sharply, looking up at Mac, and moved his own hands away, never breaking eye contact. Mac's breathing was shallow as he felt Dennis's erection through his jeans, tracing the outline with his fingers. Dennis closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, whispering "holy fuck..."

Mac smiled and unbuttoned Dennis's jeans, slowly unzipping his fly and revealing the swollen cock tenting Dennis's dark boxers. Just as Mac reached out to stroke, Dennis grabbed his wrist, causing Mac to flinch. Dennis was staring Mac dead in the eyes when he said "I need you right here, now." He pulled Mac roughly on top of him, wrapping his legs around Mac's torso. Dennis moved his hips up and down, up and down against Mac's lower stomach. With every thrust Dennis became harder and harder, until it was almost unbearable. "Fuck," he hissed into Mac's skin as he sucked and bit the soft skin between Mac's neck and shoulder. 

Mac scrambled to pull his pants off, and Dennis could feel that Mac was just as aroused as he was, a massive erection pressing up against Dennis's ass. Mac stripped off his underwear, and with a smile yanked Dennis's boxers off in one motion. Dennis let out a little moan as his penis touched the bare skin just above Mac's shaft. A shiver rippled through Mac's body as he pressed the length of his body against Dennis, feeling the electric sensation of flesh on flesh. 

Dennis found his hand and licked his palm, before reaching down and grasping Mac's shaft. Mac's body stiffened and his dick spasmed in his Dennis's hand. Dennis chuckled softly and Mac smiled and blushed, whispering "shut up, dick," before diving back into Dennis's laughing open lips. Dennis hummed into Mac's mouth as he began stroking Mac's penis, slow and steady, fingering the head of Mac's cock ever so gently. Dennis kissed across Mac's cheek until he reached his ear. Dennis panted, his breath hot and quick, as he nibbled Mac's earlobe and licked at his jaw. Mac moaned, deep and low, and Dennis could tell it surprised him, the noises Dennis was coaxing out. Maybe no one else had ever made him moan like that. With that thought Dennis felt his stomach dampen with pre-cum.

Mac noticed this, and glanced down at Dennis's cock. He glanced back into Den's eyes, teasing, before Mac began kissing a trail down Dennis's pale, muscular torso. Mac paused and flicked his tongue over Dennis's nipple, licking lazy circles between sucking, grazing the sensitive skin with teeth. 

Dennis was so close, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth open and pleading. Mac moved down down down, until he reached Dennis's dick. He cradled the balls and licked up from the base, leaving a trail of saliva as he traveled the length of the shaft. 

Dennis glanced down to see Mac smiling and gazing back up at him. Dennis nodded, muttering "oh god, please Mac, Jesus! I'm dying here..."

When Mac took it in his mouth, Dennis gasped. Waves of pleasure rocked through Dennis's body as he felt the tip of his penis hit the back of Mac's throat. It was never this good, it had never been this good. He ran his fingers through Mac's hair, thrusting into his mouth as Mac's head bobbed up and down over him. Dennis felt his pulse quicken as everything went quiet, the hot pressure in his crotch intensifying, and he thrust harder, faster, he was almost there--

Dennis came hard, his body spasming, arching, bucking, as Mac's tongue frantically twisted around his cock, Mac taking every bit of Dennis's semen that was being forced down his throat. 

Dennis convulsed through the aftershocks, and his heavy breathing slowed. Though his eyes were closed he felt Mac move to hover over him, felt Mac's warmth irradiate the air between them. Dennis opened his eyes to see Mac's face directly above his own, smiling. One side of Dennis's mouth twisted upward, his eyes half closed and hazy. Dennis raised his torso, shifting his weight onto his elbows, and brought his face up to meet Mac's. Dennis slowly closed his eyes as he met Mac's lips, gentle and tender, taking his time and feeling everything in this moment. Mac sank down into Dennis, and they rolled onto their side, still facing one another. As they lazily explored one another's mouths, Dennis's hand traveled down Mac's torso, until it reached his stiff penis. This time Mac let him do it. Dennis pressed the tip of Mac's cock into his torso as he pulled Mac close. He stroked slow and gentle, moving his lips to Mac's face and then resting once they were cheek to cheek. He felt the blood pooling under Mac's skin as it warmed beneath Dennis's face. They exhaled loud into each other's ears, somehow magnifying the sensation, somehow making even this seem more intimate. As Dennis quickened his pace, stroking up and down the soft skin sheathed over erection, Mac's breathing became more and more ragged. Dennis knew he was close, he felt it in Mac's body, the muscles tightening and the back arching. Mac was the one language he was fluent in.

 

Even quicker now, and faster still, until Mac had a fistful of Dennis's curls and was licking his lips with an almost religious fervor. Dennis watched Mac's face, fascinated by his features twisting in pleasure just on the edge of pain, disbelieving that it was he who made Mac go into such hysterics. Dennis smiled and watched Mac's mouth widen into an 'o' as he moved his fist moved up and down with furious intent. Finally, Mac pressed his lips hard against Dennis's lips and moaned into his mouth as he came, hot and wet, sprayed onto Dennis's stomach. Mac pressed up against him, pulling Dennis close as he came, and their torsos were both streaked with semen. Mac relaxed with a heaving sigh, all but going limp beside Dennis, eyes closed and dick flaccid as he fell onto his back. 

Dennis propped himself up on one elbow, gazing at Mac's spent face, his thoughts careening between pride and disbelief and accomplishment and relief that the day had finally come. Mac cracked one eye open, gazing up at Dennis.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey yourself."

"You ok?" Mac asked.

"I, uh--yeah?" Dennis answered, dropping his head back down to the pillow. "Yeah, I'm ok. Are you? I know this was--"

"I'm good." Mac answered, and Dennis could hear the smile in his words.

They lay next to each other for a long time, the outside of their arms touching. Dennis slowly moved his hand until it was touching Mac's, and he traced the edge of Mac's skin, over the bones and knuckles and ridges, with his fingers. Mac shivered.

"I'm sorry," Dennis said, almost inaudible.

The only sound was Mac's soft, slow exhale. "I know."

Mac slowly intertwined his fingers with Dennis’s, warm and reassuring. Dennis felt a small smile spread across his face as he closed his eyes. 

Yours as much as you're mine. Which was to say, completely.


End file.
